Keep the Fire Burning

"Each of us has a little flame deep within us. All life is an effort to keep that flame burning brightly. Every time you interact with your intimate partner, you are either throwing sand on your partner's flame-or breathing fresh oxygen on it to make it glow brighter. A love relationship should be all about brightening and supporting the inner flame of the person you love. We have somehow acquired the illusion that if we throw enough sand and water on our partner's flame in the guise of being "fair" or of offering "suggestions" (usually criticisms) or of insisting on change, we will both end up happier." (Susan Page, in her book, Why Talking is Not Enough, p. 31)